EPISODE DESCRIPTION: Would you rather have 'freedom of mind' or the ability to control your state of mind? What if I told you they are one and the same? Today's episode discusses how being able to hold thoughts loosely frees us from mental and emotional bondage.

Episode theme song ‘Full Bloom’ by Tristan Barton

TRANSCRIPT

Happy Thursday (or whatever day it is you're listening to this episode)! 

Today's fleeting thought is one I absolutely adore. It's a perspective that has changed my life for the better. I'm truly amazed at how when I really deconstruct an event that has transpired, like let's say how much fun I had on a project, or how much effort it was, or how tedious it might have been, or if I'm hungry and I'm having to solve a problem and it's just not going very smoothly.

I recognize that every single time, it had to do with me. Every time. Even when I worked for a very difficult human being. Every time I put my mind on the difficulty or put it at the top of my mind, it was not good. 
 
And guess what? It wasn't about him. It was about how I was framing my perception of him. It was about, my state of mind.

It's never about the situation, the circumstance, be it the weather or someone else's mood. It's about my mood—and all mood is is bringing our thoughts to life, giving our thoughts meaning. 

Is my state-of-mind freedom of mind, or is it locked into thought? 
 
It's about how I'm perceiving a situation and how I'm allowing external circumstances, which we all know are out of our control, allowing them to affect me.

I'll even go as far to say that the fact that our external circumstances are as they are, has everything to do with what's going on internally. Really the only thing we can control, as I've said before in earlier episodes, is our state of mind and what's going on inside of us. 
 
Now, sometimes that'll feel out of control, but part of that has to do with how gripped we are by buying into the thoughts that we're having inside of our mind.

So let's go back to a difficult human being, right? We can't control another human being's actions. We can't control another human being's opinions. And frankly, to that point, someone else's opinion about you says way more about them than it says about you. So why do you care? 

This is an interesting, albeit seemingly elementary thing to realize, but I'm in utter amazement at the fact that if we're to look at a situation that we're up in arms or frenzied about, or have this active, frenetic state of mind around, it will always if we're being honest, have to do with me.

It's my state of mind that's frenetic. It's my state of mind that's frenzy, not the situation. Even if I'm dealing, as I mentioned earlier, with a difficult person, how that moment transpires has everything to do with me and my state of mind. 
 
Now, as I've already talked about relative to other things about thought and consciousness, the fact that the person is difficult can be true. I'm not stating that there aren't difficult people in the world, but my experience of that person doesn't have to be difficult or anything of the like. 
 
If I watch my state of mind, if I watch the thoughts I'm buying into and don't go down the negative tunnel of, “Damn this person is so difficult,” and then allow that reality to bite me or begin to erode my joy.

If I do that, if I allow those things to happen, I'm doing that—not that person. 
 
It's happening all over the planet, by the way. We are allowing our state of mind to be corroded by the actions, words, stupidity, or our focus on another person's personality. And it's a huge reason we point fingers and perpetuate the “us/them” construct that creates division in our world.

The good news though? This responsibility actually gives us freedom. 
 
Being responsible for our state of mind—the only thing we can control— offers us freedom. 
 
We live in the reality of that which we are thinking. But what is great is we have the ability to shift thought, see things differently, to seemingly change reality by gaining perspective on it, even when we think the problem is outside of us or on another person.

What would serve us more is to look inside ourselves and see what the climate is in there. One of the things I feel is important to gain perspective on is that our state of mind, our freedom of mind, hopefully, has everything to do with what is happening outside of us. And I don't mean what is happening outside of us is affecting that state of mind. I mean, that state of mind is affecting what's happening outside of us. 
 
So, in a way that it's spoken about a lot, we live in an inside-out reality, but most people see the world an outside-in reality, and that's an errant way to see it. Because the truth, if you understand this principle, it will alleviate so much suffering in your life, I promise you. So stick with me on this. 

Now, way before my best friend introduced me to this principle of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought, I had another really good friend in college with whom I had a conversation when we were wee lasses studying in southwest Missouri. She said to me once, “I don't know if I like that certain things are all up to me. It makes me uncomfortable and feels like it's too much responsibility.
 
I felt differently and I responded, “That’s when it feels most freeing to me, when things are up to me, when I'm responsible for things, because then I know I have the ability to shift them.” 

Well, back then I didn't have the awareness to help her see things differently.I just told her how differently I felt and went on my merry. 

Yeah, that was super helpful. 
 
But today, I would say, “Okay, Lisa, you have the ability to feel something in response to something happening in life and say, “Oh wait. I don't like how this feels. I'm going to shift something inside of me or go for a walk and see how new thoughts might unfold about this situation,” versus, “I don't really like how this feels. I have to get this person or this situation in my life to change.” 

First of all, when it comes to another person and getting them to change, that's not our responsibility. Nor is it even really something we're capable of doing—getting another human being to change. That’s on them no matter how you slice it.

And to that point, they, or people in general, may not change. 
 
So does this mean we're stuck and the relationship with this difficult person is fixed? And that's just how it has to be?
 
No. The good news is no. 
 
The even cooler news is when we are in a freer, more malleable state of mind where we don't buy into every thought that zooms into our head, we can go about our lives, even interact with that difficult person, and sometimes that difficulty falls away and no longer exists. 
 
Now, did that person change? Not likely. 

But my state of mind became a bulletproof armor to their pissy moods or their moments of rage that it doesn't dishevel me anymore. It might even get to the point that we aren't compelled by the thought of “This person is difficult.” 

And here's the even more beautiful thing—we have within us in ability, all of us, an opportunity to shift and see that external happenings have very much to do with what is going on for us internally. 

There's so much more that comes to mind on this, and I want to elaborate on this reality, but the takeaway for today is this. 
 
State of mind becomes ‘freedom of mind’ when we can objectively look at thought as something that has no stronghold on us other than the hold we allow it to have.

Next time you're agitated or feeling frustrated with someone or something, go inside and assess what's going on inside of you. Do this even for the things that set you on fire with joy! 

You’ll begin to see how your life experience is greatly shaped by your thought. And as I've said before, if the thought serves you, run with it Baby.

If it doesn’t—know that a new thought is just a thought away.  
 
You can have a new thought at any time. Try it. 

I'll see you tomorrow.

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The podcast is hosted, produced, and edited by Jenée Arthur.
Cover art by Jenée Arthur
The songs used in the individual episodes have been licensed for use.