Where I share my life stories, family hilarity, and other fleeting thoughts and moments.

Girlfriend Blog #2
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Girlfriend Blog #2

It’s that time again. It’s been a few years since you were introduced to my lovely person, Deborah. And, well—a lot has happened inside that head of hers. Enjoy a sampling.

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Jiminy ‘Effing’ Cricket
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Jiminy ‘Effing’ Cricket

Excessively loud noises are unpleasant to me. Especially unnecessary ones like someone gunning their Harley Davidson motorcycle within a few feet of me, or a shriek of excitement that surpasses the 105 decibels capable of shattering glass. But even more unnerving are the, as Aunt Bethany refers to them, “funny squeaking sound[s].”

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If Only We Could All Live in Mayberry (Mom: Part 1)
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

If Only We Could All Live in Mayberry (Mom: Part 1)

You all know her as the unsung hero of our family. ‘Shy, humble and forever joyful’ are a few ways you’d describe her. That’s only because you don’t know her secret, and the fact that she is powerfully orchestrating everything behind the scenes. Read on to learn more about my beautiful mama.

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The Heavens Open Every Time She Smiles
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

The Heavens Open Every Time She Smiles

You know her from her surprise discovery of poop emojis and “blueberry Alka Seltzer.” You also know her from conversations she’s had with my dad that leave us all wide-eyed and feeling like we’ve been transported into the Twilight Zone in the blink of an eye.

Now, experience her through 20 vignette moments guaranteed to leave you wanting more.

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Runnin’ With the Devil
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Runnin’ With the Devil

When I was a young teen, my friend Lori sat me down and explained that rock music is the devil’s playground. She goes on to tell me that Satan uses backmasking to hide subliminal messages on rock-n-roll records, to recruit child soldiers for his impending hellish reign over the world. Read all about it here.

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Nothing Can Trump My Birthday
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Nothing Can Trump My Birthday

“Lassie, what is it? Is Timmy trapped in a well?” No, but Jenée is stuck in a ditch.

Join me for a trip (literally) down Mill Race Lane as I demonstrate how a series of mistakes make for great storytelling.

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The Newest Angel In the Ethers
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

The Newest Angel In the Ethers

Traveling home for the funeral of my childhood best friend's father forces me into a nostalgia bubble that is as impenetrable as the needled, silken casing of a bagworm. There's no escaping the barrage of memories that flood my heart and mind.

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Chia Seeds and the Holy Spirit
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Chia Seeds and the Holy Spirit

My favorite text from my little sister during her cross-country trek with Mom and Dad to visit me is "Sheesh, do Mom and Dad need hearing aids?!"

Uh, is this really a question? Has she not read my blog posts from the past 3 years? Trying to carry on any sort of conversation with our parents from the backseat of a car, or, God forbid, requesting a bathroom break, is pointless.

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Come All Ye Faithful
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Come All Ye Faithful

Every December when I return home to celebrate the birth of the baby Jewish boy born in a manger to a woman and a man who've supposedly never consummated their marriage, I encounter an equally balanced amount of piety and frivolity. My trips home are forever laden with moments that entail belly-laughter as well as incredulous bewilderment, most of which stem from interactions with my father.

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A Short Story About a Gnawingly Long Run
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

A Short Story About a Gnawingly Long Run

Most people in my life know this story. It is commonly referred to as "the time I gnawed my panties off" story. I alluded to it in one of my blog posts when Mom, Dad and I were vacationing in Door County and I was about to poop my pants.

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Carnero Creek Cow Pies
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Carnero Creek Cow Pies

I am traditionally left changed and strangely affected by my solitary moments with Mom and Dad, so forfeiting this strange yearly metamorphosis of my soul for the greater good of the entire family was admittedly a difficult thing for me to waive. I mean, where was all the good material for my blog going to originate if not left alone with the two nutcases to whom I was born?

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That Hauntingly Beautiful Echo
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

That Hauntingly Beautiful Echo

Today, I smile when I think of that horrible incident, or when I see the faint scar on my gorgeous grown niece's forehead, because it reminds me of my connection with four of the most amazing women in my life, their connection with each other as mother/s/ and daughters, and how that connection transcends time or space or physical constraint.

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“Please, Let Me Stay Home!”
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

“Please, Let Me Stay Home!”

Remember when I rejoiced at being able to retire my broken monocled ventriloquist doll Willy into our attic? I mentioned that the only more celebratory moment at that time in my life was when my parentally mandated pro-life bracelet took a quasi-accidental voyage down the toilet pipes into the sewer. This is that story.

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If the Fates Allow (pt. 1)
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

If the Fates Allow (pt. 1)

Christmas 2014 was already destined to be slightly off-kilter given the absence of our family's matriarch who decided only two months ago that 95 years on the planet was sufficient lest she wear out her welcome, but Christmas is shaping up to be a doozy all its own for so many other reasons.

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Congo the Gray
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Congo the Gray

I was asked by friends to watch their caged and domesticated African Gray while they ventured to Disneyland for the week. Holy hell. What did I get myself into?

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Mensa Int’l Phoned To Retract Your IQ
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Mensa Int’l Phoned To Retract Your IQ

Alas, one of our Chicago tribe sisters stayed home this year because her youngest is still breastfeeding. We have only two rules for Tribe: that no significant others may attend, ever (regardless of their gender), and that children can only be present if they are still sucking the teat, and only if they are not yet walking.

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Starting Tribe Weekend Off With a Bang
Jenée Arthur Jenée Arthur

Starting Tribe Weekend Off With a Bang

Nothing will reset one's life experience (and possibly the course of one's entire future) like a dozing highway driver hitting you from behind at 50 mph. The only car wrecks I've experienced prior to this one were in the days before airbags when we wouldn't even suffer seatbelt injuries because chances are we weren't even wearing one. Despite the fact that my face (and body) feel they've been used in sparring practice by a prize fighter, I'm grateful an airbag intrusively entered my world yesterday.

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