3. This Tiny Word Matters
EPISODE DESCRIPTION: Today, I am ranting about one of my biggest pet peeves. If this topic is cringe-worthy to you, just keep listening. You might come away with a new perspective.
Episode theme song INTRO: “LOVU” by Shu (featuring Yimgah)
Episode theme song OUTRO: ‘I Love You’ by Oliver Michael
TRANSCRIPT
Today, I am going to convey one of my biggest pet peeves.
Lovely. I know.
Monday I shared a poorly written but sweet story from my 8-year-old self. Yesterday, I shared the beginnings of a new way to look at thought.
Today, if you’re one of the people who violate the thing I’m gonna rant about, you might not like me. But listen anyway. You might hear something between my rantishness that makes sense or a difference to you. I shared this concept with a friend recently, and it landed for her in a really beautiful way
Okay, listen up.
Who took the ‘I’ out of ‘I LOVE YOU’?
People have shortened the I love you to “love you” or worse, “love ya,” and I'm not really sure I understand it.
I’m serious. Who did it? I’m going to punch them in the throat.
Okay, so you want to reserve, ‘I love you’ for your romantic partner, husband or wife, or your immediate family members. I get that, but shortening this important phrase not only makes no sense to me, but it also doesn’t make sense.
You're still the person loving the other person, so doesn’t the inclusion of the ‘I’ in that sentence matter?
It’s like leaving out one of the most important parts of the equation. The person loving the other person isn't in there. Love you. Including the ‘I’ in ‘I love you’ is just a little more, I don't know, integrous, it has real meaning. If you break down the sentence, love you, it doesn’t make sense. It’s actually telling the other person to love themselves, not conveying that you in fact love them.
I know pronouns are a hot topic right now, but leaving them completely out of sentences when you are the subject of that sentence seems slightly Neanderthal.
If you are going to take the time to convey love to someone in the form of this precious three-word phrase, wouldn’t you want to actually show up in the sentence for the person to whom you're directing the love?
I know I'm throwing shade on all of you or all of the people that struggle with saying I love you. And there are some people that have a hard time with that. Those words conjure up or bring forward feelings or emotions that are hard or uncomfortable. And there are some people for which saying, I love you out loud, makes them feel too vulnerable, or They didn't grow up hearing, I love you.
So they don't really have a reference for the use of those three words. And there's love language, and some people's love language is not the use of words. So I understand. I'm just saying that if you're going to tell someone, if you're going to express in words to someone that you love them saying, I love you is far more meaningful than saying ‘Love you,’ because the inclusion of I is a relevant and beautiful part of that expression.
I feel like expressing love is truly one of the most wonderful opportunities we have in life, and it's one that I don't want to ever regret not having expressed, but again, that's me. It doesn't have to be you. I do think, however, if you're going to tell someone you love them, you have to include, ‘I.’
Again, I don't mean you have to walk around and tell everyone in the world, strangers on the street, or anyone that you love them all the time. It's not a love fest. This is just a sharing of a pet peeve and a plea to say that if you're gonna tell someone you love 'em, include yourself in the equation.
And of course, people like Snow Patrol say there're three words that are used way too much, and there's been many references to how everybody these days just tells everybody and anybody they love them. When you think it through, don't we kind of all feel that way? Like we're all humans, we're all part of humanity.
There is a shared love or a universal love that we feel now. Again, I'm not saying you gotta go tell everybody you love them, but the one person you're telling in the moment, I think that expression should entail the fact that it's coming from you. So that would require, as I've been saying, ad-nauseum in this episode, it requires that you say the word I, granted, this is my pet peeve, so you can take this ran or leave it, but let the record show it doesn’t sense.
You sound like Tarzan, nonetheless. And although he'd at least replace the subject of ‘I’ with ‘me.’
“Me love Jane.”
“Me love you, Jane.”
“Me love you.”
Tarzan-speak is less nonsensical than your omission of the ’I’ in “I love you.”
Just say it for God's sake. I love you. How hard is that?
There? That's my thought for the day.
One of my biggest pet peeves. Who took one of the most important part of the ‘I Love you’ expression out of the expression,
Oh, and in a nod to my vinyl-slinging buddy, Lonnie, I want to remind everyone of his very important message. ELE. Everybody love everybody.
Can't think of a better thing to end on.
I love you.
See you tomorrow.
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The podcast is hosted, produced, and edited by Jenée Arthur.
Cover art by Jenée Arthur
The songs used in the individual episodes have been licensed for use.